Journals99
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Here, there.. No Where at All
1 min read
I Don't spend too much time here or anywhere anymore.. But I paint sometimes.. if you are interested or just want to contact me, I have a facebook page for that..
www.facebook.com/juliekartwork…
You can like it, if you like what I do..
So, yea...
Thanks
www.facebook.com/juliekartwork…
You can like it, if you like what I do..
So, yea...
Thanks
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Painting and Being Awesome
1 min read
So last year everyone I loved and did everything for ditched me and left me to die. It is cool, I have been in and out of the hospital, almost died a few times, and I discovered that I am too awesome to waste time missing self obsessed people.
Ok, I got that out of my system. On to the awesome
So I paint now! I am going to post some pics.
Later haters!
J.
P.S.: here is my youtube channel, check it out if you like ^^ www.youtube.com/user/tigers2/v…
Ok, I got that out of my system. On to the awesome
So I paint now! I am going to post some pics.
Later haters!
J.
P.S.: here is my youtube channel, check it out if you like ^^ www.youtube.com/user/tigers2/v…
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Who am I rambling to
2 min read
I'm not strong enough Michael. My lucid moments are lesser and farther apart. It is becoming so clear that it just isn't worth anything. I don't want to fight. I don't want to keep wandering till death finds me. There is no point
I remember days like you would dreams. Bits and pieces of Monday and Sunday or none of Tuesday or this morning
Medication and my mind arnt waring for power anymore. But now have made a peace treaty with the dream demons. My life force is no longer contained within my body, but floating around me
They are slowly syphoning the air from my lungs and the electricity from my brain
I am a battery of emotions powering the machine for the end of man kind
I am thrashing in the air and drowning in the water I am reaching up to earth I am reaching down to earth trying to find something someone to ground me to anchor me to the earth but I am still sinking still floating up up down down
My fear of the inside of buildings makes it so I do not use money for alcohol but I want to drown in those bottles so bad but my fear keeps me in bed. And the money goes to the companies who house me and my floating sinking balloon
You want me to post it there so you don't have to hear the incessant screaming or see the thrashing of the convulsing dying animal. I understand. It is selfish to force anyone to watch it. It is evil
So sorry so sorry
I remember days like you would dreams. Bits and pieces of Monday and Sunday or none of Tuesday or this morning
Medication and my mind arnt waring for power anymore. But now have made a peace treaty with the dream demons. My life force is no longer contained within my body, but floating around me
They are slowly syphoning the air from my lungs and the electricity from my brain
I am a battery of emotions powering the machine for the end of man kind
I am thrashing in the air and drowning in the water I am reaching up to earth I am reaching down to earth trying to find something someone to ground me to anchor me to the earth but I am still sinking still floating up up down down
My fear of the inside of buildings makes it so I do not use money for alcohol but I want to drown in those bottles so bad but my fear keeps me in bed. And the money goes to the companies who house me and my floating sinking balloon
You want me to post it there so you don't have to hear the incessant screaming or see the thrashing of the convulsing dying animal. I understand. It is selfish to force anyone to watch it. It is evil
So sorry so sorry
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Decorations for Solo-Celebrations
2 min read
The boxes I open,
Open the doors to the memories they hold within.
The fall leaves, orange lights and cinnamon scented candles bring me back to a time of true happiness...
There was a big room filled with smiling faces and laughter.
A table set with food I had made with love and care.
The orange glow warmed our hearts as we filled our bellies and enjoyed the company.
I was so truly happy.
I felt loved and wanted.
My heart and home was so full...
As I take the decorations out of the boxes,
I look around the place I am now.
It is much like a box itself, but I have tried my best to make it home.
In my little box home, I am always alone.
No one visits.
No one calls.
It is hard to believe that this time last year,
I was so very happy.
So very loved.
So very wanted.
Where did it all go? What had I done?
They all seemed so happy with me.
They all left bellies full and and voices loud in laughter.
I had done well.
I had given them my love,
And they took it...
I wrap orange light strings around my box windows and doors.
The warm glow illuminates my plain walls and floors.
But I still feel cold.
So lost and alone.
Cause none of them would be here,
Happy in my new home.
No one to feed.
No one to laugh.
All I do is wish for them back.
Perhaps I am not unlike my decorations in their boxes.
Perhaps I am only meant to be taken out one time a year.
Perhaps I am just in storage dreaming of my time to shine.
Perhaps...Maybe...someone...want...me..
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Cannot Fly, Minds Well Die
1 min read
A rare bird, wings long ago clipped, hopelessly flits around a nest made for two.
She watches the other birds sing and make marry. She desperately wants to fly, but she knows she will just fall and die.
Knowing this she starts to cry, perhaps it is just better to die.
She watches the other birds sing and make marry. She desperately wants to fly, but she knows she will just fall and die.
Knowing this she starts to cry, perhaps it is just better to die.
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